The Monday Funny Pages

Today's Forecast: Conservative Letters, Followed by Partly-Liberal Op-Eds

Today the NJ offers us five Letters to the Editor, four of them from conservatives:

Conservative #1 is a National Guard wife whose husband has been deployed to Afghanistan several times, complaining about the paper's coverage of Delaware doctors who went to Haiti. Since this is the second letter in a week from a Guard wife complaining about this, I'm wondering if the Wives' Club had a meeting about it. Her claim that neither the black doctors who went to assist in the disaster nor the black victims of the quake are as worthy of coverage as routine National Guard deployments -- which she says are covered, but only with "a small photo with text of each deployment or return" -- is disturbing on many levels.

Conservative #2 informs us that "Obama’s 'I am not an ideologue' refrain is reminiscent of Richard Nixon’s “I am not a crook,” and warns us that Obama and the liberals are out to destroy our country in the next three years with "European-style socialism." He's a little behind the times -- conservatives have been saying this in the blogosphere since the SOTU when Obama said it, but this guy probably heard it the other night when Rick Santorum said it on Fox News.

Conservative #3 tells us that the refusal of unions to accept low wages for its members is the reason all our factories are moving their operations to Mexico.

Conservative #4 is on a rant about the money that might get spent on security for civilian trials of terrorists. Conservatives are terrified of these all-powerful superhuman terrorists, who require a lot more security than American criminals to protect ourselves from them. If I belonged to the Mob, I'd be insulted.

Fruitcake Alert: Letter-writer #5 might be a liberal, because he writes about using wind turbines. But he's proposing using turbines and power lines on railroad lines and superhighway cloverleafs to create a new power grid, which causes me to wonder whether he's got his tinfoil hat on straight.
 
Three Op-Ed pieces today:

Big liberal op-ed piece from Ann Woolner pointing out that conservatives didn't get all tied up in knots when the Bush administration tried Richard Reid as a civilian. Score one column for the libs. 

Today wraps up with one normally-liberal columnist and one normally-conservative columnist writing apolitical columns. Liberal Eugene Robinson writes about his visit to the Washington Car Show and what's wrong at Toyota. Arch-conservative Paul Greenberg tries his hand at creative writing with a mock interview with Holden Caulfield talking about the death of J.D. Salinger.